As a new operator, sometimes I get in my own head and it becomes an issue. Does this happen to seasoned operators? How do you deal with it?
I think operators need to have the same mindset as an athlete, be it a field goal kicker that just missed a critical kick or a quarterback that just threw an interception. You need to be in the moment - there isn’t time to dwell on past performance – establish what went wrong, figure out how to fix it, then move on so the mistake doesn’t mentally tank your next take/shot. It is important to have short-term memory when it comes to mistakes – the faster you put them in the rear-view mirror, the sooner you can move on to the next challenge.
Sometimes a rehearsal will be going smoothly until the director adds a seemingly simple wrinkle that only you seem to notice will ramp up the difficulty of the scene/shot. There can be anxious moments as you try and figure out how to make the director’s vision a reality. Sometimes, there are complicated portions of the shot, and you spend the early stages of the take anticipating the upcoming move, and how you’ll conquer it. I think all of this is perfectly normal (I hope so…it just happened to me last night), and you learn to deal with it.
While we all might be at different levels of experience, we were brought onto a particular project for a reason, and the people who hired us believe in our abilities. There will always be challenges, and some shots are inherently difficult, but that’s part of the challenge and excitement of what we do as operators. Don’t be discouraged if you are having a difficult day – everybody on set has been through it – the key is to move past those moments, and learn to embrace the next challenge.
It never stops. We are all our own worst enemy and imposter syndrome is real. At first it’s “I can’t do this I don’t have enough experience.” Then it’s “I have experience but they are going to expect more than I know.” And eventually it’s “Yeah back in the day I could pull that off but now….?”
Bottom line is it’s a head game and you need to realize that you are the one in charge. I once had a huge steadicam shot to do and after doing a really great take, just before the end, I blew the shot. I know that the next few minutes were critical because if I let the doubt take over, I was doomed. So I did what someone once told me, I got hyper-focused on one aspect of the shot. I can’t recall what, but the way I turned a corner, how I reached for something in the background, honestly, it doesn’t matter. The key for me, and this might not be for anyone, is to get so engrossed in making a moment of the shot better that I can’t focus on the failure (it goes without saying that I first assessed why I screwed up to see if there was something I could do to make sure it didn’t happen again…there wasn’t…I just sucked…
But yeah, doubt will creep in and just like a trained athlete, you need to learn how to control it, put it in a box, and make it go away. If you dont, it will become your reality. I’m sure there are books on this subject.
Um, yeah, it happens every day. Don’t kid yourself. The only difference between a seasoned veteran and a newbie is that the newbie is more likely to be realistic that they dont know they can pull the shot off. Tighten up your pants, take a deep breath, and nail the next take.
This happens to every operator regardless the years of experience…. doubt, worry and fear of failure are basic human emotions that luckily with a couple years of experience(and mistakes) you learn to cope with. Everyone’s mechanism is different but the biggest thing to remember is you ended up on that dolly, in that vest or at those wheels for a reason. Your instincts, personality, eye, or just will to succeed, got you there and you have to focus on those and use them to manifest success one shot at a time…
