Fake It Till Ya Make It

Everybody starts somewhere and the reality is, when you look at some veteran and are completely overwhelmed by what you don't know at the stage of the game you are in, they were right where you are at some point.

As I’ve said many times elsewhere in this book, I was the A camera/Steadicam operator on ER at the tender age of 25. I had only really done one other show as an A camera/Steadicam op prior to this and I was fired after the first week. So, my prospects were not great, even though I had spent the time in between learning everything I could about what an A camera operator does.

I showed up for my first day on ER completely overwhelmed and simply doing my best to keep my head down and not screw up. I got through the first day with the help of a great crew who clearly knew that I was not ‘quite there’ yet and helped me with just about everything. I could operate, mind you, but I didn’t have the confidence or knowledge yet that it took to be a truly gifted A cam operator. 

So, I followed that age old piece of advice, ‘fake it ‘till you make it’.

But how does that actually work? Well, you speak up and put your voice in the conversation where you are comfortable and where you know you can have impact–in my case, this was in steadicam shots and how to execute them–and you keep your mouth shut and just follow along, learning as much as you can along the way, hoping you don't screw up. The key is to recognize that you likely will screw up, but the positive things they have seen from you will hopefully outweigh whatever that screwup  is.

So, I basically took the lead of the 1st AC and allowed him to drive the bus a little until I got my sea legs, as it were. I remember after the first day, heading home being certain I was going to be fired, but, hey, at least I could put something from ER on my resume and reel! The second day was no different. And by the end of the first week I had still not unpacked all my gear on the truck because I simply assumed there was no point.

I remember clearly in the second week talking with the DP and the director about a shot and turning confidently to the 1st AC and saying, “OK, so we should put the geared head on the dolly with the short zoom”. He looked back at me fairly playfully, smiling, and shaking his head no at which point I said, “Sorry, I meant let's put the fluid head on the dolly with the long zoom?” I asked questionably. He smiled and nodded ‘yes’ and walked away to start the build.

What he knew was that he had to protect myself from myself, because I wasn’t proficient enough on the wheels yet and I would need the two ends of the long zoom to get both pieces of coverage. He was doing this partially to make less work for himself (there’s an old saying in the business, work smarter not harder) and also because he liked me and wanted me to succeed. And that's really the key to the whole ‘fake it ‘till you make it’ mentality: be a good person that people want to help, be humble, be kind, be thankful, and they will be forgiving of your flaws–as long as you continue to learn and get better. But go in with an attitude that all the issues are someone else's and see how far you get.

The reality is, in life, most people fake it until they make it. And, of course, some never make it. But there is no way to learn as much as you need to know without doing the job itself, so when you are new, it’s understood. The key is to make sure you move past that and don't do that for your career. And, above all, be considerate of those who are supporting you, because, in the end, they are the ones covering for you while you learn.